7.5 out of 10, rounded up to 8 for being marginally more fun than the first one.ĭuring an operation of a Mexican Cartel, Machete Cortez (Danny Trejo) and Sartana Rivera (Jessica Alba) intercept the criminals alone, but another group arrives and a masked man kills Sartana. It all gets very silly, and with the next sequel featuring Machete in space, it's set to get a whole lot sillier I for one will make sure I've booked my seat for the ride. Hell, Rodriguez is having so much fun that he doesn't even care about the quality of his CGI, which only adds to the gleefully gaudy vibe.
Thus, we have a Bond-style baddie in the form of megalomaniac Luther Voz (Mel Gibson), our hero killing numerous henchmen in a variety of creative ways, some innovative sci-fi weaponry, plenty of cool in-jokes for us movie geeks (I loved the visual reference to Mad Max II) and a bevy of lovely latino babes in sexy gear (including Alexa Vega in PVC and Michelle Rodriguez in tight, cleavage enhancing top). Rodriguez directs proceedings with a carefree attitude and sense of fun that I found infectious, with all ideas-no matter how dumb they must have looked on paper-making their way into the final film. However, those who can find their way safely past this potential stumbling block should have a whale of a time. For many, this move towards a crazier style with even more unbelievable splatstick violence will be a step too far, the live-action-cartoon style antics exceeding many people's willingness to suspend disbelief. In Robert Rodriguez's Machete Kills, Danny Trejo's character-deadly Mexican secret agent Machete Cortez-is about as three-dimensional and grounded in realism as a Looney Tunes cartoon character tripping on peyote. Just lay back and enjoy the gratuitous violence, T&A, and everything else you'd want in a ridiculous action-packed B-movie. You try to analyze something and then think to yourself, "Who cares?" It's so damn entertaining you don't have to think at all. That's basically the trend in these movies. Oh, and Amber Heard is the special agent helping Machete this time, and she tries to do an accent every once in a while and fails miserably, but who cares because she's sex on a stick.
There are gags in this movie that make the original Machete look like a documentary. Still, when the jokes hit, they are laugh-out-loud funny. Machete Kills is more like, 70 percent hilarity and 30 percent of jokes that either don't hit or are just repeated to the point of desensitization. Machete had me on the floor 90 percent of the time. After seeing Machete and Machete Kills back to back, I realize the only thing that makes Machete Kills slightly weaker is that the laughs aren't as consistent. Then Mel kicks in during the second half of the movie and that's where it goes full-on ridiculous mode (in the best way, as if it wasn't ridiculous enough before). Literally the best plot device to get as many famous people in a movie as possible. There's also the shapeshifter El Cameleon played by Cuba Gooding Jr, Lady Gaga, and Antonio Banderas. The first half of the movie focuses more on Machete going after this crazy arms dealer, with random villains like Sofia Vergara with machine gun tits coming after him. Then again, it's f*cking Danny Trejo, so he's awesome at it anyway.
Needless to say when President Sheen asks him to go on this suicide mission, Machete isn't exactly in the best frame of mind. This is another revenge story, except this time it's Machete's love interest Jessica Alba who is killed in front of him. Mel Gibson is basically a Bond villain in this movie. Yeah, and you thought De Niro playing George Bush was crazy. Machete Kills is somehow even more ridiculous than the first one, this time with president Charlie Sheen ordering Machete to go after a lunatic nuclear arms dealer played to perfection by Demian Bichir, and Mel Gibson wants to destroy the world and colonize space. Seriously, it was everything I wanted in a silly action movie. I actually saw this movie before the first Machete so I wasn't sure what to expect, and I laughed until it hurt. The character is incredible, the premise is perfect, literally everything about it just screams B-movie stupidity, and it's insanely awesome.